Want the formula for bitterness? That’s easy. Take one disagreement or false interpretation of another person’s actions, add an overly zealous human who wants nothing more than to get even with someone else, and subtract empathy or any sense of understanding you might possess. Voila! You have successfully turned someone or something into something/someone they are not in order to cope.
What is wrong with people? Why can’t we get over ourselves and swallow our pride? What is so terrible about looking at a situation and saying, “I can see where that person is coming from.” Or better yet, when was the last time anyone ever admitted that they were the one who had messed up instead of another person? It’s this whole idea of pointing fingers at people instead of facing the person standing in the mirror that completely stresses me out.
Maybe it’s me and my blind hope that people will someday awaken the potential that is within them. Maybe I’m clueless and naïve and want people to have the same kind of upbringing and heart as I do. But If I continue to think everyone is going to sit back and take the time to really understand each other, I feel like I’m always going to be this stressed out or disappointed.
That might not make any sense so I’m going to explain it this way. People hide behind lies to save their own faces far too often. So often, in fact, that we ourselves even start to believe the lie we tell ourselves. Here’s an example.
This situation is real but I’m using different names for the sake of those involved. Let’s just say that there’s a girl named Michelle who simply has a ton of stuff going on in her life, and she just can’t be with her boyfriend at this point in time because she has too much emotional trauma on her plate. Instead of taking a step back and trying to see where Michelle is coming from, her boyfriend flips out and insists on making her life a living hell. “She’s such a selfish b-tch.” He rants to his buddies, “I gave her everything and she’s crazy and just breaks it off. She’s a slut anyway.” This goes on for weeks, and the boyfriend ignores her, laughing as she walks by or simply just lying about the person Michelle is just to go along with the image he created in his head. Instead of telling the truth about the ordeal, the boyfriend shames the Michelle for simply doing what she needed to do.
OR, let’s look at scenario 2. John decides he only wants to be friends with Ashley because she’s more of a little sister to him, and with his addiction to pills he knows he wouldn’t be good for her. Out of care and respect, he tells Ashley all of this with good intentions. Ashley completely explodes and rages, “You just use me because you know i’ll always be here for you. I know you love me and you’re an a–hole for ever leading me on. I wish I never met you.” Ashley knows this isn’t true but this is the only way she knows how to face the rejection. She then tries saying to any girl she meets, :”Don’t talk to him. He’s a man whore and heartless.”
Any of this ring a bell? I wish I knew why people make these god awful self-centered stories up about others. It’d be interesting to know what goes through the minds of other people. I have the upmost respect for people who build each other up and have such a disgust for those who’s main source of entertainment is making fun of and lying about other people. I guess nobody really wants to be rejected, or hear what they don’t want to hear, but at the very least, how about cutting each other some slack every now and then? I want to hear less of, “This is all his/her fault.” and more of “I messed up too.” Take some credit for your own life. More than that, have some compassion. He/She isn’t a bitch, things just don’t workout the way we want all the time. That’s life, boo boo. Move on and don’t let anger take the wheel of your life. I hope to see less people blinded by their own bitterness in the future. Next time you open your mouth, try understanding where someone else is coming from, I feel like that’s the bravest, most respectable thing to do. Swallow your pride more often.