There are things that I could have done, and there are things that I’m currently working on now. Unfortunately, because of an emergency in the family I was unable to attend Behrend’s 2015 commencement ceremony last week, but I’m thankful that the issue resolved itself. Technically, I should have been there with all my classmates walking down and getting a diploma handed to me, my family sitting in the stands and my Dad undoubtedly screaming “I LOVE YOU, HONEY!!!” just as he did when I graduated Highschool. I should have landed a job or prestigious internship by now. I should be grown up and out in the real world, but I am not.
I believe that there are such things in life that life gives to us; small accomplishments that keep us going and remind us of how far we’ve come. I call them “litte victories”. Before I begin, I feel that it’s important to mention that I am not writing about this for attention. Rather, for once I am publicly giving myself a pat on the back. (Because if I don’t, who will?)
Two years ago, and even a year ago, I was in a very bad place. I was not friends with the right people, I drank a lot and my education was the least of my priorities. Instead of putting my efforts and energy into permanent things, I placed them into temporary stuff, such as relationships and possessions. I could have, and at the rate I was going, should have dropped out of school and started working at a fast food joint. I did not take myself seriously for one second out of the day. To quote the film “The Princess Diaries” here, I cannot tell you how many times I said the word “i” or “me” because as far as I was concerned, life was all about me. I was careless with other people. Hell, I was careless with myself.
I can’t really explain what happened next. I sort of woke up one day and decided “I’m not going to live like this anymore.” My friends, my family, my choices were too important to throw away. And that’s what I had been doing, essentially throwing my life away. I began buying my school books, lifting weights and praying again. God knew that I needed to hit my bottom before I could even try climbing for the little victories I could accomplish each day.
That’s the truth folks. Every single day we can achieve our own little victories. Wether it be getting a raise, sticking up for yourself, or even talking to that one person that you see around all the time but never had the courage to say “hello” to. I must employ you to make a change, if not for yourself, do it for the ones who love you. I am proud to say that I’m no longer in that place I was in. I have my ups and downs, and I will be in college for another semester before I graduate, but there’s nothing wrong with that. The real world can wait for me. I’m proud to say that my grades have never been so good my entire life and my friendships are now true and strong. I would like to thank those that I’ve met this year that have changed me for the better. If you keep up with me on facebook, I posted a status in August about how an old couple paid for my groceries at the begining of the semester. I asked them what I could do to repay them and they said “make this year a great one and do good in school.” And I did it. The unmasked genuine kindness of strangers is what mostly kept me motivated all year.
It’s all about the little victories, guys. I’m spending this summer volunteering at a Yoga studio, drinking coffee on the porch with my Dog every morning because my mental health comes first. So The fancy apartment with the student loans and dream job can wait for now. It’s been one hell of a year, and I can’t wait to see the little victories life throws at me next, whatever they may be. I’m at peace where I’m at, and I think that’s something we all need to stop and think about once in a blue moon. Stop thinking about what’s to come, worrying about the past because it’s done. All you can do is be at peace where you are in the present, here and now.
Here’s to my little victories. What are yours?