Ohhhhhhh Cara. Hi, how are you? I’m guessing since I’m speaking to you exactly 730 days in the future, it’s probably right around the time that you were told by the Department of Communications that “Yo, you gon graduate a semester late, Lady. Sorry bout it.” I’m not sure if I caught you before or after you ugly cried alone while on a treadmill at the on campus fitness facility, actually but I’m going to go with the later because who doesn’t shed actual tears while busting out a bitter 3 miles?
Don’t answer that.
I talk, you listen.
I’ve got some stuff to say, 2 years ago Cara. You may or may not like it, but it has gotta be said.
You gotta get your stuff together, girl.Find your direction. (and find it you will!)
You have always had a lot to say ever since you were snaggle toothed and pigeon toed while playing tetherball on the playground at CVHS elementary. You notice everything, but can’t catch a softball of sarcasm to save your life. And yet, you say nothing about it. You hate your job, your major, pretty much anybody who seemingly has it all going for them and hate that you’re still single and everybody is (on the surface) sOoO #InLove
You have so much to learn, boo boo.
You decided, out of the blue, to start a blog. You loathed the word though. “BLAWG.” Sounds like something any directionless twenty something year old would start doing, for the #hashtaglikes #followers desperate for #Instafame. You didn’t know people would genuinely love you for the things you write and confess on here. You weren’t aware that people you hardly know, and Family you haven’t seen in way too long would come to love all the weird thoughts and epiphanies, short stories and rants in your head that you somehow typed out and put into the internet-sphere.
You doubt that anyone cares about what you have to say, but they do. You will lift others up with your words and inspire them to “stay wonderfully weird.” Listen to me— you need to continue to write.
You don’t like looking in the mirror for too long and get apprehensive when you see someone looking at you. You crumble at the thought of rumors spreading about things you’ve done in the past. You’ll bitch, you will gripe, you will moan, drive people away and distance yourself from the one thing that makes you truly happy- and that is write.
So here’s what I want you to do.
I want you to be as honest about the things you see, the things you feel, and what makes you come most alive. This, as you will come to understand, is the first step of you living for yourself and yourself only. Don’t worry about if it’s too much, too lengthy, too open, too short, too weird. If will help someone else, do it. Say it.
You’ll meet your best friend in happenstance while working your boring job and end up spending the last two years of undergrad attached at the hip. You will be able to unfollow people, and finally FINALLY tell that one dude from bio class “My eyes are up here, buddy. Thanks.” You will make dean’s list. You will break some hearts, and do things you never thought you would do, fall down a pit of darkness and then crawl your way back up more times than you can count.
You’ll graduate from college. You will move. It won’t work out. You will come home. You will dwell in your failures. You will rise above the bullshit. You’ll gain weight, you will loose weight. You’ll recite a mantra in sanskirt and do yoga to a pink Floyd cover band and it’ll save yo LIFE. You will run father than you ever have after one too many PBRs the night before. (10 miles…. HALF MARATHON LOOK OUT FOR ME IN SPRING 2017) You will burn bridges. Many, many, many of them. It won’t be until you are walking through your own dark valley of life that you realize these burnt bridges will light your way and you will come to be a living example that you can bounce back from even the hardest of years.
And, you will be a boss ass bitch and no one can take that away from you—because you have made healthier choices, new friends, better ways to spend your time.
Congratulations on two whole years of spilling your heart out, kid. 2 YEAR BLOGIVERSARY.
Don’t give up whatever it is that puts fire in your heart. Share your stories.
But seriously, glad you got it together. So let’s keep it together woman. Shall we?
Cara from two years later.
Ps. Forever writing my weirdness away even though it’s quite apparent it is here to stay.